Terminology

FEMDOM TERMINOLOGY

Femdom terminology can get daunting for newbies to the world of BDSM and kink. Don’t let that slow you down. We provide this comprehensive glossary of fetish terminology to help you figure out the language of the alternative lifestyles. Let’s begin with the femdom terms you may need to know.  

Specific FemDom Terminology

Here are some selected FemDom terms defined. Once you learn the basics of female domination terminology, search the expanded BDSM and fetish terms below for more information about the amazing world of kink!


Discipline
:
1. When a dominant partner trains a submissive on fetish protocol. 2. Punishment inflicted on a submissive for disobedience.

Dominant: A person who takes power, authority or control in a relationship, scene or activity with permission from their sub.

Dominance and Submission, D&S: Refers to the roles of dominant and submissive.

Domme: A femme-presenting person who takes power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene or activity with permission from their partner.

Dominatrix: A female dom in a fetishistic relationship.

FemDom: Refers to female domination

Flagellation: Striking a partner via whipping, spanking, flogging, or paddling.

Mistress: Female version of ‘Master’. A female-identified person who retains control over their partner with permission and safe words set in place.

Power Play: A synonym for “dominance and submission.”

Submissive: Generally written in lowercase as “submissive”, a person who consents to relinquish power and control to their partner to a certain degree.

BDSM, Fetish and Kinks Terminology

24/7: Dom/sub relationship in which the dominant partner controls nearly every aspect of the submissive partner’s life, according to terms negotiated in advance.

A

Ablutophilia: A fetish for baths or showers that usually centers around a naked person lathering themselves up.

ABR: “Adult breast feeding.”

Acomoclitic: A fetish for hairless genitals.


Acrophilia
: A fetish for having sex in high places.


Acrotomophilia
: A fetish for amputees and shortened limbs.


After-care:
It’s considered the dom’s responsibility to bring a sub back down to earth at the end, make sure that person is calmed down, caressed, checked in with, and feeling okay.

 

Age Play: Acting like one person is older and one person is younger.

 

Age player: A person who engages in role-play where a different age is taken on by one or more of the participants.

 

Algolagnia: A fetish for pain.

 

Allorgasmia: A fetish for fantasizing about someone other than your current partner.

 

Allotriorasty: A fetish for sex partners of another race, ethnicity, or nationality.

 

Alphmegamia: A fetish for older partners.

 

Altocalciphilia: A fetish for high heels. Common among those with a foot fetish. Synonyms: retifism.

 

Alvinolagnia A fetish for stomachs. Likely linked to the importance of wide hips when it comes to natural childbirth. Synonyms: partialism.


Amaurophilia
: A fetish for not being seen during sex. This usually involves turning off the lights or blindfolding a partner. Some peeping toms and fans of glory holes have this fetish.

 

Animal Play: Kink play where one partner, usually the sub, pretends to be an animal.

B

BabyBoy: A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role playing as a young boy. Also used as an endearment for a male-identified submissive.

 

BabyGirl: A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role playing as a young girl. Also used as an endearment for a female-identified submissive.

 

BDSM: [a portmanteau acronym for] Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.

 

Big: A person who is nurturing and/or parental in a relationship dynamic.

 

Bottom: A person who agrees to give up control or receives the stimulation during kinky activities that may or may not include submission.

 

Bottom Drop: Subs sometimes fall into a brief depression after an intense scene. They made themselves vulnerable and needy. Now they’re on their own.

 

Brat: A person who likes to exhibit one or more of the following behaviors: teasing, playful, sneaky, mischievous, stubborn, rebellious, disrespectful or disobedient. This behavior may be a component of their power exchange relationship.

 

Bull: A man who engages in sex with a woman whose partner enjoys the cuckold dynamic.

C

FemDom Terminology - Speak the lingo of Female Domination!Cage Fetish: A fetish for being confined to a small space. This often manifests as a sub being locked in a cage, box, or a closet. The caged sub is then teased, taunted, tortured, and/or ignored by the dom.

 

Cat O’ Nine Tails: A multi-tailed whip often used in fetish play.

 

Chrematistophilia: A fetish for paying for sex, or for being robbed or blackmailed by a sex partner.

 

Compersion: When someone is pleased to see their partner getting sexual pleasure from someone else. The opposite of jealousy.


Coprophagia
: A fetish for consuming human feces.


Coprophilia
: A fetish for playing with, handling, or rubbing human feces on oneself.

 

Cosplay: Cosplayers dress like their favorite characters to express their creative side and show the depth of their fandom They also behave and speak like their characters, sometimes acting out their favorite scenes with their friends. 


Counting Games
: While being spanked, flogged, or whipped, the sub is required to keep count of the number of strikes. Often involves some variation of the phrase, “Thank you master, may I have another.”

 

Crushing Fetish: A fetish for watching small insects or animals being crushed to death.

 

Cuckold: A man who enjoys the humiliation and/or voyeuristic experience of watching or knowing their partner has sex with someone else.

 

Cuckqueen: A woman who enjoys the humiliation and/or voyeuristic experience of watching or knowing their partner has sex with someone else.

 

Cum Inflation: A version of inflation fetish in which a person fantasizes about pumping so much semen into a sex partner that her body bulges and swells with male ejaculate.

Cupping: A type of sadomasochistic play derived from a healing practice in ancient Chinese medicine. Typically the dom uses a flame to remove the oxygen from a glass cup. The cup is then quickly placed on the sub’s skin. The vacuum sucks the skin into the glass, creating a large, hickey-like mark.


Cutting Fetish
: Sexual pleasure is derived from inflicting cuts on oneself or a sex partner. Related to: amputation/amputee fetish, blade play, blood fetish, body modification fetish, goro, medical fetish, nollo, non-con, pain play, snuff, vore.

D

Dacryphilia: A fetish for witnessing others cry. Often a fetish of sadists who enjoy dominating subs to the point of tears.

 

Daddy: A person who is nurturing and/or paternal in a relationship. Prefers to be referred to as “Daddy”.


Degradation
: A fetish for being psychologically degraded, or degrading a partner. Synonyms: erotic humiliation.

Denial: Refers to a few types of denial play, including orgasm denial, bathroom denial, sensory denial, food/water denial.


Devotee
: A person with a fetish for disabled people. The two most common fetishes devotees have are abasiophilia and acrotomophilia.


Diaper Fetish
: A common prop incorporated into age play or fetishes for infantilism, scat, watersports, humiliation, dominance, helplessness… Some believe this fetish develops early in life, when a child associates diapers with being loved and coddled. Extreme diaper fetishists make themselves incontinent so that they need to wear diapers constantly.


Dippoldism
: A fetish, or paraphilia, in which pleasure is derived from spanking or physically abusing another person.


Discipline
: 1. When a dominant partner trains a submissive on fetish protocol. 2. Punishment inflicted on a submissive for disobedience.


Dog Training
: When a submissive partner is treated like a dog. A common form of role playing in BDSM.


Dominant:
A person who takes power, authority or control in a relationship, scene or activity with permission from their sub.


Dominance and Submission, D&S
: BDSM.

 

Domme: A femme-presenting person who takes power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene or activity with permission from their partner.

 

Dominatrix: A female dom in a fetishistic relationship.


Doraphilia
: A fetish for leather, fur, hair, or skin. Similar to hyphephilia.

 

Doll: A person who enjoys objectification and wants to be transformed through one’s own and/or outside forces into a living doll.

E

Ecouteurism: A fetish for eavesdropping on others having sex.


Electrophilia
: A fetish for electricity, which usually involves electro-stimulation.


Emetophilia
: A fetish for vomiting or watching others vomit, particularly after gagging during fellatio. Synonyms: vomit fetish.

 

Electro: Kink play that involves electrically-charged objects like stun guns, cattle prods and Violet Wands.

 

Ella Fitzgerald: A euphemism for scat play, used to get around content restrictions of certain online communities. People have to say “I’m a fan of Ella Fitzgerald.”

 

Evolving: A person who is undergoing gradual change.

 

Erotophonophilia: A fetish for murder. Common among serial killers.

 

Exhibitionism: A fetish for being a public spectacle. This often manifests in streaking, public sex, or flashing. A common trait among porn stars.

 

Exhibitionist: A person who enjoys displaying themselves in a public or semi-public manner in order to attract attention.

Exploring: A person who is on an open journey through the world of kink.

F

Fat Admirer/Fetish: A fetish for obesity. A broad category for several sub-fetishes: padding, inflation, stuffing, gaining, immobility, feederism, feedism, feeding fetish.

 

Feederism, Feedism, Feeding Fetish, Forced Feeding: A fat fetish in which pleasure is derived from feeding oneself, or another, with the intention of increasing a person’s size. Related to: gaining, inflation, immobility, padding, stuffing,

 

Female Muscle Fetish: A fetish for muscular females. This often stems from a sub’s desire to be dominated and emasculated by a physically superior female.

 

Fetish: Sexual arousal resulting from a fixation with a specific act or thing. Some fetishes are so intense that a person has trouble reaching an orgasm unless he engages in, or at least fantasizes about, his fetish.

 

Fetishize: To develop a sexual obsession around an object or act.

 

Flagellation: Striking a partner via whipping, spanking, flogging, or paddling.

 

Flatulophilia: A fetish for farts. Synonym: eproctolagniac.

 

Fetishist: A person who is aroused by objects or nonsexual parts of the body.

 

Flogger: A type of whip with multiples tails.

 

Food/Water Denial: A type of denial play in which the dom refuses the sub food or water.

 

Foot Fetish: Aroused by feet, to the point where you want to stick feet in your mouth and rub your genitals on them.

 

Formicophilia: A fetish for insects crawling on you and your genitals. Often involves ants.

 

Frotteurism: A fetish for rubbing against an unsuspecting, and non-consenting, person. Often performed on trains, buses, or in crowds.


Frottage
: Non-penetrative sex acts that often involve rubbing. Includes ass jobs, the Cardinal George, cock dogging, foot jobs, hand jobs, Harvard Style, outercourse,The Princeton Rub, titty fucking…

 

Frot: Usually refers to any non-penetrative sex act that involves two penises rubbing together. Synonyms: cock rub, bumping dicks, frictation, frontism, the Ivy League rub, knocking cocks, Oxford style, the Princeton Rub, sword fighting, tummy sticks…

 

Furry: A person who identifies with a particular anthropomorphic animal or creature, often wearing costumes or tokens representing the animal.

G

Gag: Any object used to obstruct a person’s breathing or to prevent them from talking, especially during sex. A common sex toy in BDSM play.

 

Gagging: Most often refers to a partner choking during fellatio and deep throating.

 

Gaining: A fat fetish in which pleasure is derived from the idea of oneself, or another, gaining weight. Related to: feederism, feeding, feedism, inflation, immobility, padding,

 

Gerontophilia: A fetish for older partners, particularly partners who belong to an older generation.

 

GGG: “Good, giving, and game.” The term was coined by Dan Savage, in attempt to define what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. “Think ‘good in bed,’ ‘giving equal time and equal pleasure,’ and ‘game for anything—within reason.’

 

Goo Fetish: A fetish for gooey substances, which often takes the form of tentacles. Related to wet and messy fetishes, and sploshing. Synonyms: slime fetish

Gun Fetish: A fetish for the power embodied by guns. In practice this fetish can manifest as women posing with, firing, or performing sex acts with guns. In extreme cases, it can involve a person aiming a gun at his sex partner during sex.

 

Guro: A fetish for blood and guts that often involves the fantasy of creating gashes in another’s skin for use as a sexual orifice. This is a popular fantasy depicted in animated hentai films. Some people with guro fetish wish to be disemboweled themselves. Similar to: amputation/amputee fetishes, nullo, body modification, vore, snuff, non-con, pain play, cutting and medical play.

 

Gymnophilia: A fetish for nudity.

 

Gynemimetophilia: A fetish for female impersonators.

H

Haematomania/Hematolagnia: A fetish for blood.

 

Hamartophilia: A fetish for committing sins, as defined by your religious upbringing. Synonyms: pecattiphilia.

 

Haptephilia: A fetish for being touched.

 

Harmatophilia: A fetish for mistakes or rule breaking, especially in terms of sex.

 

Harpaxophilia: A fetish for being robbed. Similar to chrematistophilia.

 

Hematolagnia: a fetish for using or drinking blood in a sexual manner.

 

Hierophilia: A fetish for sacred or religious objects.

 

Hirsutophilia: A fetish for body hair.

 

Homilophilia: A fetish for listening to or delivering speeches or sermons. Some believed Hitler had this fetish.

 

Humiliation: A type of fetish play in which the submissive partner is made to feel ashamed or degraded. Can involve anything from penis humiliation to public humiliation. Synonyms: degradation.


Hybristophilia
: A fetish for crime and criminals, especially those criminals who gain public attention. Every serial killer is flooded with love letters and marriage proposals from people with this fetish. Similar to phygephilia.

 

Hygrophilia: A fetish for body fluids, such as semen, tears, saliva, or sweat.

 

Hyper Fetish: A fetish for having a specific body part that is absurdly large. Variations include hyper breasts, hyper muscles, hyper testicles, hyper ass, hyper penis. Of these, the most common are muscle, penis, and breast. This kink is often depicted in animated, hentai porn. However, these fantasies can come to life with body building, implants, and saline injections.

 

Hard Limit: An activity banned by one party during negotiation.

I.E: “If you try to take a shit on me, I’ll safe-word immediately and end the scene.”

 

Hedonist: A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of pleasure.

 

Hypno Play: kink play in which a dom hypnotizes a sub in order to make them believe there are bonded.

I

Immobility Fetish: A fat fetish in which a person stops moving, or is forced to remain stationary, while increasing his caloric intake in order to gain weight rapidly. Related to: fat fetish, feederism, feeding, feedism, gaining, inflation, immobility, padding,

 

Impregnation Fetish: A fetish for the fantasy of impregnating a sex partner. Related to fetishes for vaginal creampies or pregnancy.

 

Infantilism: A fetish for dressing, acting, and being treated like an infant. This often requires practitioners to hire a dominatrix to serve as a “nanny.”

 

Inflation Fetish: When sexual pleasure is derived from the fantasy, or reality, of physically filling a sex partner up with various substances. Related to: air inflation, cum inflation, fat fetish, feederism, feeding, feedism, gaining, immobility, padding, stuffing,

 

Icolagnia: A fetish for looking at nude photos, images, or statues.

K

Kink: An easier way to say BDSM. Any fetish that has an erotic charge to it would be called kinky.

 

Kinkster: A person who doesn’t want to define their role while engaging in power exchange, role play, sadomasochism, cross-dressing and/or fetishes.

 

Kajira: A female owned-property slave, as per the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels.

 

Kajirus: A male owned-property slave, as per the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels.

 

Klismaphilia: A fetish for enemas.

 

Knismolagnia, Knismo: A fetish for tickling others or being tickled.

L

Lactation Fetish: A fetish for lactating breasts. Fans of this fetish often want to nurse, be milked, or milk their partner. Often related to infantilism, pregnancy fetish, hyper breasts, breast expansion, or wet and messy fetishes.

 

Lactophilia: A fetish for breast milk.

 

Little: A person who identifies with or enjoys exhibiting a child-like mindset and/or behaviors. Their relationships may or may not include a power exchange component.

 

Lesbophilia: A fetish among men who are aroused by girl-on-girl sex. This sometimes refers to men who like to image themselves as lesbians.

Leatherman: A person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs (“biker culture”) after World War II.

 

Leatherwoman: A person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs (“biker culture”) after World War II.

 

Leather Daddy: An authority figure within the leather community or tradition.

 

Leather Top: A person within the leather community or tradition who performs kinky activities on someone.

 

Leather bottom: A person within the leather community or tradition who receives kinky activities from someone.

 

Leatherboy: A submissive within the leather community or tradition; usually seeking a paternal/maternal figure.

 

Leathergirl: A submissive within the leather community or tradition; usually seeking a paternal/maternal figure.

 

Leatherboi: Someone within the leather community or tradition who may be submissive or in a subordinate role, and often doesn’t identify with binary gender labels.

M

Master: A person who consensually takes ownership over someone who they are in a relationship with.

 

Macro Fetish: A fetish for giant, though not necessarily obese, sex partners. Often reserved for the realm of anime or fantasy. Can be related to micro fetish, macrophilia, vore, crushing, or growth fetish.

 

Master-Slave Relationship: An ongoing, fetishistic relationship between a dom and sub.

 

Macrogenitalism: A fetish for large genitals. Similar: phallophilia.

 

Macrophilia: A fetish for giants. This often involves the fantasy of being at the complete mercy of a much larger sex partner.

 

Masochist: A person who enjoys receiving pain or humiliation consensually, whether it’s emotionally, mentally or physically.

 

Mistress: Female version of ‘Master’. A female-identified person who retains control over their partner with permission and safe words set in place.

 

Munch: A purely social gathering of kinksters, no sex involved.

 

Mommy: A person who is nurturing and/or maternal role in a relationship.

 

Middle: A person who identifies with or exhibits a younger mindset and/or behaviors, but feels more like a teen or pre-teen than a little.

 

Micro Fetish: A fetish for being small, or for engaging in sex play with small partners. This is often related to macro fetishes, as the person often enjoys imagining that he is small in comparison to his giant object of worship. Practitioners of this fetish often like to be smothered or crushed by a larger partner. Often related to vore and crushing.

 

Mixophilia: A fetish for watching a partner or yourself engage in sexual activity. This fetish often involves mirrors or sex tapes.

 

Monster Fetish: A fetish for a wide range of monstrous creatures. Practitioners of this fetish often enjoy the fantasy of being dominated by a monster. The romance book series, Twilight, created a whole generation of women who enjoy the fantasy of being dominated by werewolves and vampires.

 

Morphophilia: A fetish for specific body shapes that deviate from the norm. This could include a love of fat people, dwarfs, amputees…

 

Mpreg: “Male pregnancy”. This fantasy is often reserved for the realms of hentai pornography.

 

Multiple Body Parts: A fetish for sex partners with extra appendages, including breasts, orifices, penises, or limbs. Having multiple breasts may make a sex object seem hyper-female, just as multiple penises may make a male seem hyper masculine. Related to monster fetishes.

 

Mummification: A type of bondage in which the submissive partner is completely immobilized, often by being wrapped in materials like plastic wrap or being stuffed in a body bag.

 

Mysophilia: A fetish for dirt or filth. Often a fetish for smelling or tasting items stained by human fluids. Such items could include underwear, soiled clothes, or a used tampon.

N

Necrophilia: A fetish for human corpses.

 

Non-Con: “Non-consensual” BDSM play. This may refer to rape or sex play in which either partner is aroused by the fantasy of a forced encounter.

 

Normophilia: A fetish for acts that do not violate laws, social norms, or religious doctrine.

 

Nullo: An extreme body modification fetish or paraphilia in which a person wants to have their genitals removed, or nullified. Similar to: amputation/amputee fetish, goro, vore, and orgasm denial.

 

Negotiation: Before the scene ever starts (a lot of people like to do it a couple days before) people talk as human beings, outside of roles: limits, preferences, that kind of stuff. It can be kind of a seductive, fun, fantasy-filled conversation.

O

Objectum Sexuality, Objectophilia: A broad category of fetishes in which a person is sexually aroused by a specific class of physical objects like cars, monuments, or dolls.

 

Odaxelagnia: A fetish for biting.

 

Odontophilia: A fetish for teeth. This can manifest in a person liking to lick teeth, to leave bite marks, or to extract teeth.

 

Olfactophilia: A fetish for smells. Usually involves body odors.

 

Orgasm Denial: A type of fetish play in which a dom teases the sub, but refuses to let him reach orgasm. This can include the use of such devices as a cock cage.

 

Osmolagnia: A fetish for body odors like sweat or flatulence.

 

Oviposition: A fetish for egg laying. An uncommon kink, sometimes found in the furry community and usually only satisfied by means of fantasy or animation.

P

Paraphilia: Any sexual fetish that is classified as a disorder because of its extreme nature, because it is harmful, or because it violates a society’s mores or laws.

 

Parthenophilia: A fetish for virgins.

 

Partialism: A fetish for specific body parts. This includes such fetishes as nasophilia, oculophilia, and podophilia.

 

Pediophilia: A fetish for sex toys, specifically dolls.

 

Pecattiphilia: A fetish for sinning, as defined by your religious upbringing. Synonyms: hamartophilia.

 

Penis Humiliation: A fetish for receiving derogatory comments about the size and inadequacies of your penis.

 

Peodeiktophilia: An exhibitionistic paraphilia in which a man is aroused by exposing his penis to unsuspecting victims.

 

Phallophilia: A fetish for large penises. Similar: macrogenitalism.

 

Phobophilia: A fetish for feeling afraid.

 

Phygephilia: A fetish for fugitives, or living as a fugitive. Similar to Hybristophilia.

 

Pictophilia: A fetish for watching porn. Also, when one watches so much porn of the same act or person, he develops a fetish for that act or person.

 

Piquerism, Picquerism: A fetish for piercing, or penetrating, another person’s skin. People with this fetish often concentrate on piercing erogenous zones. Origins: from the French word piquer, or “to prick.”

 

Protocol: The procedure or rules of a D/s relationship.]Although there are plenty of stereotypical manners that people employ, it’s usually a person-to-person agreed-upon thing.

I.E: Don’t call me Sir, call me Master.

 

Play: Sex, or sex involving some form of role-playing.] Basically an easier way of saying ‘let’s have sex’ is ‘do you want to play?’ People will tag that on the end of different branches of kink, like puppy play. People do like to feel like it’s adult play, playtime

The more playful it is, the more there’s a feel of “Ahh, this is new.”

 

Power Play: A synonym for “dominance and submission.”

Puppy Play: Where the submissive takes the role of literally being like a canine.  The dom treats them the way that a dog trainer would. The weird part is that they also molest them.

 

Pony Play: Anything having to do with horses. People who are really into pony play…you don’t hear about sex happening.  Those people are buying expensive horse gear, like saddles. And they’ll have a kind of horse that they are. “I am a wild Mustang.” Some are into dressage, being paraded around on show. That’s the play for them: It’s just to show off how much they can act like a horse.

 

Pet: A person who may or may not identify with animal play who is treated like they are beloved and owned.

 

Princess: A person who requires a very particular treatment of praise, care, and attention.

 

Primal: A person who rejects rules, traditions and protocols and prefers to self-define their role, often associated with foundational and/or animalistic instincts, behaviors, and desires.

 

Primal Predator: A primal who enjoys hunting and attempting to capture prey.

 

Primal Prey: A primal who enjoys being hunted by a predator.

 

Pup: A person who enjoys roleplay as a puppy or dog.

 

Pony: A person who enjoys roleplay as a pony or horse.

R

Rigger: A person who practices the art of bondage, usually with rope.

 

Rope Top: A person who performs rope bondage.

 

Rope Bottom: A person who receives rope bondage.

 

Rope Bunny: A popular alternative for Rope Bottom, often a model for performance, photography or demos.

S

Sensualist: A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of sensual pleasures and interests.

 

Sadism: A fetish for dominating a submissive partner by inflicting physical, emotional, or psychological abuse.

 

Sadist: A person who is sexually aroused by administering pain to himself or others.

 

Sadomasochism, SNM, S&M: A broad category of activities in which one partner derives sexual pleasure from administering or receiving psychological or physical pain.

 

Salirophilia: A fetish for soiling the objects of one’s desire. This often manifests in a sex partner being coated in filth. Can be related to bukkake, urolagnia or coprophilia.

 

Scatophilia: A fetish for excrement.

 

Scopophilia: A fetish for being a voyeur.

 

Scoptophilia: An exhibitionistic fetish for watching a partner or yourself engage in sexual activity. May involve mirrors or a sex tape. Synonym: Mixophilia.

 

Soft Limit: An activity that one party would rather avoid, established in negotiation.

e.g I’d really rather not go there unless you want to in a huge way and you go into it slowly.

 

Squick: To bother on a pre-conscious level. Connotes an immediate reaction devoid of moral or value judgment.

e.g. I’d prefer that you not talk about scat play at lunch because it squicks me out. No judgment!

 

Sapio Play:  A mindfuckThat part of play where nothing has actually even started happening. A person is just in their brain freaking out.

e.g. an electro device being waved close to, without touching, the skin of a bound person

extreme e.g. a simulated castration, negotiated without explicit mention of its simulated nature, complete with beef brains and caro syrup

 

Slut: A person who embraces the freedom to engage in sexual activity in accordance with their desires, with one or multiple partners, regardless of conventional values.

Sissy: A male-identified person who engages in feminization and sometimes humiliation in order to reach a different emotional or mental state.

Spanko: A person with a strong interest in spanking and/or being spanked.

Spanker: A person who enjoys spanking others.

Spankee: A person who enjoys being spanked.

Switch: A person who participates in relationships, scenes and activities as a Top/Dominant or bottom/submissive depending on their mood, partner or the situation. Some switches enjoy changing their power dynamic during the scene.

Submissive: A person who consents to relinquishing power and control to their partner to a certain degree.

Slave: A person who agrees to give total control to someone who they are in a relationship with.

Swinger: A person who has consensual sex with other people within and outside of their committed relationships.

Sub Space: n. Subs sometimes go into an almost ‘out of body’ or hypnagogic state if they get into the role successfully enough.

e.g. You can’t tell someone who is into puppy play, “Oh, bark like a dog!” in random conversation. They’ll likely answer, “Well, I have to be in sub space.

T

Tantalolagnia: A fetish for being sexually teased.

 

Taphephilia: A fetish for being buried alive.

 

Technophilia: A fetish for technology, which usually centers around cyborgs, robots, and sex machines. This fetish is often related to other fetishes, such as replacing an amputated limb with a machine, or having sex with a robotic sex doll.

 

Telephonicophilia: A fetish for phone sex or dirty talk.

 

Tentacle Fetish: A fetish for tentacles, often depicted in hentai or other forms of animated erotica. Origins: Tentacle porn derived from a Japanese folktale and has since become popularly depicted in hentai. In these henati scenes, characters often suffer from “tentacle rape,” in which tentacle-like-protrusions from a plant, animal, or monster force themselves on a victim.

 

Teratophilia: A fetish for deformed or monstrous people. Synonyms: dysmorphophilia.

 

Thesauromania: A fetish for collecting women’s clothes. This usually involves collections of panties or undergarments.

 

Tickle Torture: A form of BDSM in which a submissive partner is tickled, often while being bound.

 

Tickling Fetish: A fetish for being tickled or for tickling submissive partners. Tickling often triggers some of the same muscles as orgasms. Also, some tickling enthusiasts see the act as an expression of intimacy. Others simply enjoy torturing a partner or seeing their partner cry from forced laughter.


Top: A person who is in control of the events in a kinky situation.

U

Underwear Fetish: A fetish for underwear. This usually involves men who like to smell, wear, or collect unwashed panties.

 

Urethra Play: The act of inserting objects into the urethra to inflict a mixture or pleasure and pain. Synonyms: Sounding.

 

Urolangia: A fetish for watching others drink urine.

 

Urophilia: A fetish for being urinated on or for urinating on another. Variations: golden shower.

 

Ursusagalmatophilia: A fetish for teddy bears. Also, a fetish for dressing up in animal costumes. A form of plushophilia, which is a fetish for stuffed animals. Variations: furries, plushies.

 

Urtication: A BDSM practice of using nettles to sting a partner’s skin, causing them to develop hives. The practice was once used to treat paralyzed body parts.

V

Voyeur: A person who enjoys watching others, usually in a sexual context, without engaging with them.

Vanilla: A person without any identified kinks or fetishes. Sexual activity that is generally accepted as normal.

W

Water Sports: Any type of sex play that involves urine or enemas. Also a category of porn.

 

Wet & Messy Fetish: A broad spectrum of fetishistic acts that involve making a sex partner wet and messy with various substances. This includes bukkake, sploshing, goo fetish, slime fetish…

GENDERS

Male

A person who has the identity and characteristics of a man.

Female

A person who has the identity and characteristics of a woman.

Crossdresser/Transvestite

A person who likes to dress and act in a style or manner traditionally associated with

the opposite gender.

Transgender

A person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their

biological sex assigned at birth.

Gender Fluid

A person who fluctuates between more than one gender, or between having a gender and not having one.

Genderqueer

A person whose gender identity falls outside the male-female binary.

Intersex

A person who is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.

Butch

A person who is typically female-identified whose social and relationship roles are

perceived by many as being masculine, often having a lesbian, gay, or queer orientation.

Femme

A person who has an appearance or other characteristics traditionally seen as feminine,

often having a lesbian, gay, or queer orientation.

SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS

Straight

A person who is attracted to the opposite gender in a sexual and/or romantic way.

Heteroflexible

A person who identifies as primarily straight but can occasionally find the same gender

appealing in a sexual and/or romantic way.

Bisexual

A person who is attracted romantically and/or sexually to another gender as well as their

own.

Homoflexible

A person who identifies as primarily homosexual but can occasionally find the opposite

gender appealing in a sexual and/or romantic way.

Gay

A male who is primarily attracted to other males in a sexual and/or romantic way.

Lesbian

A female who is primarily attracted to other females in a sexual and/or romantic way.

Queer

A person who doesn’t identify with traditional categories around gender identity and

sexual orientation.

Pansexual

A person who is attracted to and may form sexual and romantic relationships with males,

females, and people who identify outside the gender binary.

Fluctuating/Evolving

A person whose sexual responsiveness is changing/evolving.

Asexual

A person who has low or absent sexual interest or desire for people of any gender.